Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
