I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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