You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
