yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
