sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize