there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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