The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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