I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
