Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
