Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
