He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
