Small penises have feelings too.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
