there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
