I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
