Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
false alarm, still single
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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