you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
