the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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