now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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