so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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