Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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