We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
