I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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