chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
