fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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