And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's shark week go big or go home
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
