No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
