Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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