Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
