Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
