You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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