It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
