The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize