Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
love makes seman taste better
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
