I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize