looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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