you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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