How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Can i not drive my cunt home
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
