I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
