Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
