don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
