i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I have demons in me.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
