his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
