I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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