Christians are straight up FREAKS
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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