Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
