my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
