She said her name was "party"
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
