Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
