dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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