you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
