Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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