My hair reeks of homosexuality.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
