I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
