I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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