we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize