All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
