Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
