What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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