help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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